What colours... What light...

Let the light not be
It keeps me from lightening
It’s all heavy in there
Dense, intense; heaving doesn’t work
Sucked from within, contracting, I gasp for some air

Let the light not be
Let me shed this cloak
It’s heavy and wet
Bones crushed, being choked
Various colours of various lights
May be charming, I want nights
They help me alight
The burden of light
Which I carry, on my frame
Which is my person, which is my name
Easily off in the dark
But in light, without a mark
How it goes in
To be my flesh, my skin
Broadens the frame, does away stoop
I stand tall, and I droop

What a day...!!

It was a kind which I did not meet recently. Let's see. I slept at around 6 in the morning thinking of just sitting through the exam which I thought was at 2.

So, the day starts. I get a knock at my door at around 1135 or something and get the first love message of the day. This one was from a colleague who was allowed, rather asked, to leave her paper, and 'wake me up to take the test'...!! What a start. So I head for the hall and struggling to keep my eyes open see teeth coming out as I enter. No, you are mistaken, or are you. The lips moved one side only. I could notice that even with thesomnia prick still in my eyes. What is that...!? It is a strange dryness (?) and repulsiveness in eyes somehow suggesting that you were moving in the darkest alleys of the world down below. Since there are no hardships of light, eyes relax. How do you know that? Your eyes were not even with you. Well... when you are forced to come back your eyes struggle for lubrication and light just keeps punishing them. There are only two ways: around or through. We all have chosen one way or the other, one time or the other. I just doubt I made the right choice most of the times. Well... this time I chose to go around. I didnt want to lose the taste of the delirium in my mouth. I was thinking of just getting over with it.

That, my friend, was not going to happen. In comes a soul, as calm as the deep waters of pacific--try being there for once--and hands over something to her friend which I chose not to notice despite my limited visibility. I finish the job and go looking for gas for another cruise down under. Out of gas and lubrication, and high on temperature I go to the dining hall hoping to bury everything under whatever crap I find there. Now there is this friend of mine. Poor thing... she was trying so hard to be nice to me for some time now--well, as much as she could. We got into something but that was normal. Then comes this chirpy little bird with the second love letter of the day for me. What did it say...!?

Dear Mr...
You have been absent for more than 4 consecutive classes for the Classroom Based Evaluation Course. You have also not submitted the take-home test and assignment, which were due on 16th of November. If I do not hear from you by tomorrow, 22 November or do not get the test paper and the assignment by Wednesday 23, I will have no choice but to deregister you from the course. I could do this right away, but feel that I should give you a chance to explain yourself.
(Here comes the interesting part)
cc: The Dean of Studies (English)
Coordinator, School of English Language Education

Isn't that really great. How considerate? There is a nice little history to all this which I think I will leave aside for now. Just for the sake of mentioning it must be said that 4 classes were missed, for 2 of which the person was already informed. Those who carried the message know that I couldnt have carried it myself. Then something happened and all the interest just came down--ever seen snow coming down along mountains--one hell of a ride. All the energy which was stored is unleashed by a small clap. And someone falls... never to rise again. I chose not to do the assignment and didnt go to 2 more classes.

Wait this is about this day... More about that later...

So as I was trying to contain myself--this second token of love, and the general excitement of those around me, about it--I see this friend who I mentioned standing over my head and looking at the letter like it was a juicy piece of french grape, licking it all over with her eyes wide opened and her lips drawn wide. That was the threshold and I just blasted all the surplus energy away. Didn't they say realisation comes a little too late. So it did. But I think the burns were fresh and said DO NOT TOUCH. So I just let it be. Just want to let you know that I am not feeling very great about what happened.

Those who are reading this just for the story may skip the following paragraph.
Why do people think that you can be fiddled around with all the time without even a single fold on your forehead.They try to cash in hard on the violation of the X factor and jsut seem to be poking as to see till where can they reach. There is a public space and there is a private space. If I share the private with you it doesn't mean you drag it out in public. That is different and if it was not for that you would have never entered the private in the first place as there would be no distinction between the two. What I am with you, I am most likely not with the others, and vice versa. And I am sorry, but if you think otherwise you might just notice someday that there is someone else in your bed and you are nowhere... dont know what it is like for you guys but the boundary is very important for me and it is not like YOU CANNOT GO BEYOND THIS POINT. It is like DO NOT EXIT WITH SECURITY TAGS ATTACHED. I decide what goes out with you and so do you. If this is achieved then it is like NO HOLDS BARRED in here. This may be very complicated and limiting to some people but that's why I am putting it here. It is very difficult to say when someone is within reach. May be that's why this glass veil works. So if it works YOU ARE WELCOME. If not, we all have better things to do.
It just doesn't matter...!!

So it happens that I finish stocking. Oh yes... the only good thing that happened--I completed a movie download. Then the writing of the third love letter. I was helping one friend of mine with his computer and in the process fucked mine. It had already crashed 3 times and... well the count is 4 and the fingers are crossed. After finishing setting it back, I just couldnt think about anything else but using it. It's so hard to stay away from something so personal.

So, the day, with its undefined 'boundaries' continues and I sign off thinking what to do next. Hey... It's all right. Everyone has a right to be too much at times.

Legs, Cannons, Troy...!!

Aren't these the legs that launched a thousand ships...!!

Gorgeous...!!

WoW...!!

Why this proliferation...?

That's because I have an exam tomorrow... and suddenly all this seems so exciting...

Not that I am not prepared but...

I have always enjoyed playing with it... ;)

When was this latest...?

This latest was around 7-8 months ago...
Not of late...

And this is the last (?)... No... The Latest...

Boring as it is
Choking as it’ll be
Thought it will be bliss
Turning out to be me
In my truest form; dejected
And within myself confined
Thinking I’ll be resurrected
All this I designed

It’s going to be greener
Lush all along
Horizons will be cleaner
And life all song
Now I’m free
In the moment I was caught
While on a spree
That’s what I thought

It’s all fig and leaves
Yellow by my touch
Over me heavens grieve
My tunes are such
A curse as I am
For the expanse I sought
For all the sham
This is what I bought

My First (?) One...

Well... You make me go back to my writing days. This is not exactly the first one I wrote--that was when I was in 10th standard. But this one definitely is the first since I decided to write.

Once upon a time
Times were nice
Me, she, and our smiles
Those days perished
The moments we cherished
They still play in front of my eyes
She hated girls, I hated boys
Being together made us complete
We loved us raw, never elite
I was so general, she was so plain
Verdicts were given, we took no pain
I loved her, she but possessed
Glances grew mine, hers they intensed
1.
In the dark as if ember I burnt
On the burning mat till the light I turned
With eyes closed I lay on that pyre
Waiting for her to put out the fire
Why is she so late?
I’ve heard, He makes them wait
A warm breeze on the temple blew
My muse was there, at last, I knew
Job’s patience it needed to lay still
A Herculean task tugging my will
This strength too to her I owe
Her presence was Eden, Heaven was to follow
Slowly flew the tempest, reaching the verge
The pair tottered, eager to merge
In a breath time stood, went by ages
Unframed remains the saga of my rages
Gradually she lowered, I was consecrated
Above the seven skies, elevated
She stood in halo, I lay in trance
The world uneclipsed to her divine countenance
Damned are those who call it a kiss
In mortality it remains Almighty’s eternal bliss

At times it rhymes...!!

There is this friend of mine--don't know if i can say that. She is a simply gorgeous poet(ess...?) and she is sad. Now how many exceptions are there to that rule. Whatever be the case, she is doing great, with the pen at least. I don't know what to say to her.

"Help yourself out of this tough time...!!" which means I will be deprived.

OR

"Well done. Keep going...!!" which means she remains sad--I dont know if the word measures up.

On second thoughts, I will go with the first option because a poet deep down will always be shaping abstraction, in a mood bad or mood good.

I hope the message is delivered.